SPITitOUTbro
  1. 00.
  2. 01.
  3. 02.
Your Daily Dose of Awesomeness
Archive Random
Profile Photo
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook
Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of
charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear.
I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day
and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have
performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.
I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San
Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and
I have spoken with Elvis
  1. Ask me anything
  2. Submit at your own risk
  3. RSS Feed
  4. Mobile
Facebook Icon Twitter Icon
damnthatswhatshesaid:

Follow Damn! That’s What She Said! for more!

damnthatswhatshesaid:

Follow Damn! That’s What She Said! for more!

  1. Date Posted Icon 22nd February 2012
  2. Reblogged Icon Reblogged From damnthatswhatshesaid
  3. Notes Icon Notes: 132186

(Source: abra14)

  1. Date Posted Icon 22nd February 2012
  2. Reblogged Icon Reblogged From majorlazer
  3. Notes Icon Notes: 25585
I wonder if she sounds like Mila Kuniz

I wonder if she sounds like Mila Kuniz

  1. Date Posted Icon 21st February 2012
  2. Notes Icon Notes: 12
  3. Tags Icon #lol#Family Guy
nickegutierrez:

Sluts and deadmau5 only have one thing in common. And that’s their head.

Like a boss

nickegutierrez:

Sluts and deadmau5 only have one thing in common. And that’s their head.

Like a boss

(Source: thesuperserious)

  1. Date Posted Icon 21st February 2012
  2. Reblogged Icon Reblogged From nickegutierrez
  3. Notes Icon Notes: 1144
Too soon?

Too soon?

  1. Date Posted Icon 21st February 2012
  2. Notes Icon Notes: 2
  3. Tags Icon #lol#drugs#Whitney Houston
fuckyeahgirlswithtattoos:

This is the tattoo i got on my 18th birthday.  to me it means peace, love and forgiveness.

fuckyeahgirlswithtattoos:

This is the tattoo i got on my 18th birthday.  to me it means peace, love and forgiveness.

  1. Date Posted Icon 15th February 2012
  2. Reblogged Icon Reblogged From fuckyeahgirlswithtattoos
  3. Notes Icon Notes: 44

(Source: thenewkidonthesquad)

  1. Date Posted Icon 15th February 2012
  2. Reblogged Icon Reblogged From fuckyeahgirlswithtattoos
  3. Notes Icon Notes: 2032
theinevitablezombieapocalypse:

Zombie Infection Area

theinevitablezombieapocalypse:

Zombie Infection Area

(Source: tinahenry)

  1. Date Posted Icon 15th February 2012
  2. Reblogged Icon Reblogged From theinevitablezombieapocalypse
  3. Notes Icon Notes: 218

(Source: toptumbles)

  1. Date Posted Icon 15th February 2012
  2. Reblogged Icon Reblogged From toptumbles
  3. Notes Icon Notes: 3784
fuckyeahgirlswithtattoos:

Photo by Kelly Lynn Walker
Sleeve by Josh Dobbs, Chest piece by Mike Power

fuckyeahgirlswithtattoos:

Photo by Kelly Lynn Walker

Sleeve by Josh Dobbs, Chest piece by Mike Power

  1. Date Posted Icon 8th February 2012
  2. Reblogged Icon Reblogged From fuckyeahgirlswithtattoos
  3. Notes Icon Notes: 178
Page 1 of 41
Next
This blog is powered by Tumblr and designed by CoSnap.